hippytowiki

In Harmony

Collaborate...and rock on!

Stevie Nicks and Taylor Swift were on stage together at the Grammys this week.  (No, that is not the beginning of a joke…it’s a fact.)  Stevie Nicks, a godmother of rock and roll, looked and sounded spectacular.  Taylor Swift, a highly-talented baby pop star, held her own (although she was later panned for singing off-key).  At one point, Taylor Swift sang a solo and Stevie Nicks quietly picked up a tambourine and graciously allowed the next generation of women to have her moment in the spotlight.   Yeah, Stevie looked a tad wistful and maybe even a little pissed-off, but I hoped she knew deep-down that she was still amazing.

Making great conversation and collaborating is, like making great music.  It’s all about hearing  -- really hearing -- the sounds that the person next to you on stage is making, what they need and want to do at that moment, reading their brain cells and intentions,  and responding to and building on what is in their head, soul, and hands.  Steven VanZandt and Bruce Springsteen are another great example of guys who have shared a mike for years...and I've never seen them argue or push each other out of the way.  And even Lady Gaga and Elton John shared a piano this year.  I confess..it was a little jarring, but they found their common ground -- the desire to make music and dazzle with bizarre showmanship.

If your band mate is playing a haunting ballad, stealing the mike and breaking into a heavy metal riff would be rude, narcissistic, and cacophonous.  Even if one cannot stand ballads, as long as he is sharing the stage, he has an obligation to listen and attempt to play along – at least until the next tune.

And, if you both are truly listening, a band -- and an interesting new sound -- is formed.  And the audience might even light matches for an encore.  (And, in case they don't, be sure to bring along your own lighter just in case)

Random Links

New concert traditions (using cell phones)

Steven VanZandt at the 92nd Street Y (hmmm...an odd venue)

Pre-Gaga Elton John (still one of my favorite tunes of all time)

Let's Get Moving

Don't just sit there...amuse yourself! 

Since  I have declared 2010 the year of the action verb (as opposed to 2009, which was the year of fear and inertia), I decided to do some reflecting (an action verb!) on my favorite things to do in my youth.  I plan to do them all in 2010 as well.  They always make me happy.  They include reading fiction, writing, socializing, listening to music, traveling and just hanging out.  Much to the surprise of many of my friends, I also like knitting and baking.   Must be the remains of my '60s upbringing.  When I'm stressed or tired or fearful, doing the things that made me happy over the last 5 decades still seem to do the trick today.  Even though I now socialize more online than I do in person and my music is now transmitting via earbuds rather than a turntable, the basic principles haven't changed.

Please visit the Present Participle Place or comment below and share what activities of your youth will make you happy in the new decade.  (Keep it clean and legal please!)

The Retroactive Feast

Squanto Saved the Pilgrims...Who Saves Us?

Alas, when we are younger, we are often cocky and proud and think that all of the things we accomplish are because of our own smarts and coolness.  Now, looking back, I realize that I wasn't born knowing how to "hunt and fish," and that I had many guides who saved me from freezing winters (metaphorical ones, mostly, although there was the type when I had to be rescued off a mountain in Colorado by a ski patrol dude).

So, if I was assembling a feast of celebration and gratitude and could invite anyone (living or dead), the guest list would include (in no particular order):

1. My parents who gave me good genes and fueled my dreams.  My brothers who taught me how to hold my own against boys.
2. The hippie friends and drummers of my youth who gave me an appreciation of rock and roll and bad behavior. 
3. My daughters and husband, who taught me not to take myself too seriously and always make me laugh.
4. Various bosses (even the quirky and borderline abusive ones). The great ones inspired vision and confidence and the bad ones taught me not to take anything personally in the business world.
5. The folks who supported my late-life decision to become an entrepreneur.  Many of them still keep me focused and boost my spirits in tough times.
6. The wonderful people I've worked with over the years.  I learned something from each one of you.
7. The people who serve as my left brain or right brain, when I need a whole brain.
8. Girlfriends.  Who else will tell you the truth AND keep secrets?
9. Well-trained doctors who fix various body parts and necessary organs. 
10. Writers, filmmakers and even reality TV producers who entertain me and help me relax.
11. People in my life who are vigilant about health, exercise, and spirituality.  Without them, I would be quite slothful.
12. The teachers from grade school through college (even the ones we made fun of) who gave me an appreciation of the English language.  Whether I'm writing a 1,000 word business article or a 140 character Tweet, I thank them for making me fearless and reasonably articulate in expressing myself.
13. My social media community.  They share cool new tricks and devices(some of which actually have real-world value).
14. Whoever actually invented in the Internet. If not for the power of the blog, how else could I possibly offer up so much universal gratitude in just a few bullet points?

I've Hung Out with Frankenstein

Well no, not literally. 

But I've always been a big fan of really good horror movies (the old fashioned ones) and the deeper meanings that lurked within.  For example, Frankenstein was a "compiled" person -- made up of random parts and then brought to life by a surge of electricity.  Although many people thought he was a scary ghoul, he had a softer side and was truly moved by the haunting sound of a violin.  We all know folks like that, right? 

In the spirit of the season, here are some of the other real life "monsters" I have known and loved (or not):

• Facebook zombies: The people who haunt you at wee hours and are compelled to respond to every status update with a comment.  They mean well.
• Blood suckers: Folks who steal the joy from every happy moment.
• Brain stealers:  They ask if they can "pick your brain" and then take advantage of your generosity.
• Networking sprites:  They can be either good or evil.  They show up at every event you attend.  Perhaps they have a lot in common with you.  Perhaps they have nothing else to do.  Get to know them.  They mean no harm.
• Werepeeps.  Like werewolves, they change personality at regular intervals.  They may be kind and caring at times.  Or, they may rip your face off.  Beware!

Everyone has a little bit of monster inside him or her.  I am sure I have been dubbed a witch (or worse) at times.  I can be hauntingly obnoxious if I feel strongly about something.  But at the end of the day, we all have a little ghoul inside of us.  We need to get in touch with that "touch of evil" and stay inside when the moon is full.

What monsters are in YOUR life? 

Vintage horror movies

An exploration of modern monsters

 

Truth or Fiction? My Life as a Bookworm

Two of my favorite pastimes are reading fiction and watching reality TV

They are both completely escapist activities, and can be done while sprawling (and occasionally combined with eating popcorn -- another favorite pasttime).  My interest in the Real Housewives of Atlanta is dwindling (as hard as that may be to believe), but I will always look forward to cracking open a new paperback on a lounge chair in the summer sun or under the toasty covers at the end of a particularly stressful day; one of those days when truth borders on fiction.

The other day in the office, someone brought up Atlas Shrugged, and MJ and I were shocked to discover that one of our 20-something associates had never heard of Ayn Rand.  I was actually more in love with The Fountainhead and even joined the Ayn Rand "cult" in Alice Lloyd Hall's Pilot Program my freshman year at the U. of M.  (Alas, I discovered while looking up links for this post that the Pilot Program -- comprised in the 1970's of intellectual hippies and stoners who hosted rock star guests and philosophers at our dorm -- has been renamed the Scholars Program...a sign of the times.) 

But let's get back to hitting the books.  Reading fiction has always been a significant part of my life.  I began with the old basics -- Dick and Jane and Golden Books, moving on to quirky little tales like Caps for Sale and the Five Chinese Brothers.  (They both involve bizarre feats...I think there's a pattern here!) I still have my early edition of Grimms' Fairy Tales (which now exists online here and still creeps me out).  I devoured every Nancy Drew mystery.

I still clung to my love of mystery, but added in romance.  I graduated to Marjorie Morningstar as a teenager.  It could probably be counted as the original chick lit.  I was somewhat disappointed with Marjorie, however, because even though she had sex before marriage (scandalous at the time) and hung out with bohemian artsy dudes, she ended up married and in the burbs.

I majored in English, so I could read all the time in college.  A little-known fact:  I even went on to graduate school to study book publishing (the first year NYU offered a program).  It was sort of like loving meat and then taking courses on how cows are slaughtered and sausages are made...probably more information than I needed to know...but it didn't end my passion for the written word.

Last Friday night, I was stranded in the Port Authority Bus Terminal for an hour (don't ask), and found shelter and peace in the book store (where I ended up buying Wally Lamb's The Hour I First Believed and I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell (because any book that is described with the words "debauchery" and "belligerence" has got to be a great read.  And yes, I can appreciate frat crap as much as chick lit these days.   I enjoy shopping for books much the way Carrie Bradshaw shopped for shoes.  I find I just don't sleep well if I don't have a book on my nightstand.

I haven't yet bought a Kindle.  Until they make one that feels like paper and can get wet and sandy on a beach, I'm not interested.  I do, however, like the notion of instant gratification though and the ability to make any "book" suddenly appear in my hands.

Books about religion, philosophy, and sex appear to be timeless.  (See this chart of the best-selling books of all time...the statistics on the Boy Scott guidebook are really impressive!) 

Although some statistics indicate that at least 50% of college graduates don't read books, most of the people I hang out with are still reading.  What are YOU reading these days?  What book(s) left you with a lasting impression?

Here's what "regular people" view as the best novels of all time

Literary and intellectual action figures -- including a librarian! 

Publish your own book. 

Eyesight failing?  Buy cool reading glasses.

Karma...Bashert...Kismet...Dumb Luck

Whatever you call it, the basic principle is the same.  A seemingly random occurrence leads to amazing things.  Michael Pilla, one of the first people I met after starting my business (on a boat dock, waiting to embark on an event called "Cruise and Schmooze") introduced me to one of my company's biggest clients to date.  And I happened to be on the dock because my daughter's soccer coach at the time -- a local accountant -- recommended the event.  Because that client's project was in Yonkers, I ultimately moved my business here.  And because of my commitment to Yonkers, I ended up getting appointed to the Board of Yonkers Partners in Education and we were hired to do even more marketing work from the City of Yonkers.  And so it goes. 

In 2009, I started a list on my Blackberry called "Karma."  Whenever I meet someone who I believe could lead to amazing possibilities (business or personal), I add him or her to the list.  The list is growing, and the results seem to be proving that "karma is key."

So, if these types of connections are truly random, do you just sit around and wait for magic to happen (or stand on boat docks periodically)?  Not really. You need to:

• Be open to possibilities
• Refrain from over-analysis
• Get out more and increase your chances of meeting great people
• Talk to strangers
• Quickly eliminate toxic people from your life and business (Note:  Bad karma is as powerful as good karma!)

In order for my karma theory to work you really have to believe in it.  Make a list of the positive things that have happened so far this year and "diagram" how they came about.  If there was any element of kismet that led to good things or new business, you're on the right track.  If not, go back to how you've been living your life.  Not everyone is a good karma magnet.

The definition of Bashert

Alicia Keys singing "Karma"

Unique theme cruises (in case you decide to employ that method)

The Bridal Path

I can blame it on Barbie.  Like all young girls in the 1960's, I had a Bridal Barbie.  She and Ken (in his dapper tux) often locked lips (or at least banged their plastic faces together).  Sometimes Barbie hung out with my brother's GI Joe.  It was complicated, as they say in Facebook. 

As I progressed into my teen years, I became something of a hippy and a "women's libber", and was more comfortable in ripped jeans and a tee shirt than a puffy dress. I think the only item of white clothing I owned was a tank top.  But suddenly, I found myself in Kleinfeld in 1982, with hundreds of other "brides-to-be," trying on over-priced, itchy dresses with faux pearls, lace, and bustles.  What was that all about?

As many recent chick-flicks depict, women of a certain age tend to go a bit insane when faced with the planning of nuptials.  I didn't really start out thinking that I was going to have an elaborate shindig, fingerless gloves, and a giant chocolate mousse cake, it just sort of turned out that way.  I did, however, walk myself down the aisle, as the thought of someone "giving me away" (even my beloved Dad) seemed odd.

If I were to get married today, I think it would be a simpler affair.  I'd forego some of the fluff and the fingerless gloves.  (In fact, I'd ditch the pointy shoes too.)  I would have the Internet to help me plan, saving hundreds of dollars on bridal magazines.  Kleinfeld moved to Manhattan from Brooklyn (probably because they were able to afford higher rents as a result of women like me).  But Bridal Barbie is timeless.  In fact, more than ten variations of her appear on the Barbie website.

Bizarre but true fact -- Japanese women can buy a life-size Barbie bridal gown.

The Knot: The ultimate wedding planning media company...wish I had it in 1983! 

How to make a Barbie bride cake

Hey neighbor!

I am moving my company's office to the Yonkers waterfront.  I think it's because I have some kind of strange desire to be in a "neighborhood."  It must stem from my childhood roots on 195th Street in Queens.  Everyone on my block (between Union Turnpike and 73rd Avenue) seemed to know who lived in every other house.  All the neighborhood kids played out on the street (regardless of age) in the summer.  We walked to school in clusters.

I attended and spoke at Yonkers Business Week a couple of weeks ago.  I've been doing business in that city for a while now, and even though Yonkers one of the four largest cities in New York State, so many business people know each other.  For better or worse, it has a small town feel.  The Mayor's office has even said that they would do a "ribbon cutting" for my new offices.  My neighbors in the new building are a combination of entrpreneurs and artists.  X20 is like my corner luncheonette.  I know my community bankers.  The railroad is right outside our window. 

The human need to "cluster" with other like-minded folk seems to be timeless.  Of course, I enjoy anonymity at times (and I don't like the gossip and petty bickering that tends to crop up in some neighborhoods), but the social vibe and collaboration far outweigh the negatives.

In some ways, Facebook has become my new neighborhood too.  I hang out with my "friends" at odd hours, have conversations, ask questions, and share humorous tidbits.  But there will never be an ice cream truck on the social media block.

Nothing can ever truly replace 195th Street.

My old neighborhood

My new "neighborhood" (at least for work)

My social media neighborhood

How to throw a block party

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

New Media Denial

Yes, change is happening at an absurdly rapid rate.  And I find that many of my Boomer colleagues and friends are suffering from Cenophobia.

I have always been an early adopter of new trends and technologies -- in fashion, life, and business --  experimenting with and learning about lots of them and then abandoning or ignoring those that didn't "feel" right (like leopard capri print leggings) or those that I could probably live eithout (like Tivo). 

Social media and mobile technology have had a profound impact on my generation.  Some of us are slowly but surely "figuring it out" and finding great uses for it in life and business.  Others fall into one of the  profiles listed below.

Ostrichizers:  People who bury their heads in the sand and hope it will all go away.  They may have graduated from a rotary phone to a cell phone and a VCR to a DVD player, but that's where it ended.  They continually mourn "the old days."  They are likely to still have Nehru jackets in their closets.

Poo-poo-ers:  They often say things like "This stuff is all stupid...it doesn't work...who would ever want that?"  (But they don't really know what "this stuff" is.)

Mr./Ms. Popularity:  Demonstrates his/her embracing of technology by making thousands of online friends, downloading apps constantly, and generally trying a little too hard to "fit in."

The Socially Awkward:  This is a variation of the above group.  They are fumbling around, making a noble effort to master the media.  But they can sometimes be overly-aggressive or over-eager and wind up "de-friended."

New technology is not the answer to every question.  But it has enabled me to grow my business, re-connect with long-lost relatives, and wish friends a happy birthday (because I can now keep track of when their birthdays are).  New media can actually humanize, rather than de-humanize us!  I rely on my Gen-Y and Echo-Boomer colleagues to keep me out of the last two categories, but I'm sure I sometimes let my social media "Mom Genes" show.

Let's face it. The realities are quite simple...technology will keep on moving...faster than ever.  We are no longer the only "Boomers."  There are now 80 million Echo-Boomers.  The Internet has surpassed print as a source of news.  And 200 million people are now on Facebook (and 30 percent of the new users are older than 35). 

Yeah, I miss the pink Princess phone and my 45s as much as the next Boomer.  But I think I have learned to love my Blackberry and iPod almost as much...and can only imagine what's coming next!  But you can be sure it will be smaller and seemingly more useless than what came before -- until we can figure out what to do with it!

David Bowie singing Changes (no record player required)

Social media in plain English

The Speed of Change

 

Fab Fearless 40s

HippytoWiki fan alert!  This will be the last installment of Decade-dense for the time being.  I've simply run out of decades.  I hope you enjoyed it.  My next post will be something slightly self-indulgent, but definitely fun and thought-provoking. 

OK...so getting older has its downside...the weird neck flesh (requiring a larger collection of turtlenecks), the crows feet and smile lines, and the inability to drop 5 pound in 48 hours by subsisting on Tab and Kashi.  But with four decades of life also comes tremendous wisdom, pespective, and self-confidence.

I started that decade as an over-worked, unhappy, unhealthy corporate suit and ended it as a re-energized (albeit poorer) entrepreneur.  Along with my big-brand baggage, I shed about 20 pounds and gained muscle mass (which I've been told is a good thing).  My kids got older and I got my own life back.  Whoever says that working mothers can "have it all" has never been a working mother.  At any one time, you'll be doing something badly.  It's just a fact.

We all survived the Y2K frenzy (when our computers, phones, and banks were all supposed to crash).  Lots of media hype but no crisis.  The bank crash did actually happen, but it was unrelated to a date on a calendar.

I organized a 30-year high school reunion, which was fun -- but have no overwhelming desire to do it again for at least another 30 years.  Now that we have Facebook, the live reunion thing is not an imperative.  (Plus, Facebook can easily hide the signs of aging and lunacy.)

I lived fairly calmly through my daughters' teen years and one round of the college application process.  It was very different from my own high school years.  Although I am hardly a helicopter parent, I did spend an entire weekend with my older daughter, helping her with college forms.  (I have no recollection of anyone doing that with me...kids of my era were totally on their own...I even schlepped my own trunk and bags to Michigan and set-up my room without a group trek to buy bedding and toiletries, which is now a mandatory parental responsibility). 

Starting my own business at the age of 48 was either incredibly daring or incredibly masochistic (or some of both).    It's like learning to walk all over again.  I made lots of mistakes and fell on my face often.  I learned from most of them.  And I still totally love going to work every day.  I could never say that about my time on "the dark side."  When I left corporate America, it was at the highest level I wanted to achieve.  I had the big office, the big staff, the big expense account.  But I also had the endless meetings, the endless politics, and the endless risk-aversion.  When I walked out, I was truly done.  No regrets.  (I do, however, occasionally miss the concept of a fully-paid business trip to the French countryside for a global marketing meeting...sigh!)

Turning 50, albeit a bit traumatic,was viewed (or rationalized) as the beginning of the second half of my life.  Nana Molly and Grandpa Marty lived to almost 100 and I'm planning on doing the same.  And perhaps I'll still be blogging (and you'll still be reading) about what I learned during the next 50 years.

And I sure hope there's another Worlds Fair at some point.  I never got a cool personalized embroidered hat!  That's one thing I regret in my life!

Trends of the 1990s 

The first book I read when I started my business

How to live to be 100 (and not regret it)